So, my wife is out with the girls tonight. The "Twilight" movie is out now and they decided to brave the throngs of screaming, vampire infatuated teenage girls to go see it. More power to them I say.
What this means for me is an evening alone with my eleven month old daughter. I love my daughter. Anyone that knows me intimately knows that for a long while I wasn't sure I even wanted kids. Sure, I liked kids well enough. I had some neices and nephews that I enjoyed spending time with, but I was always more than content to be able to hand them back to their parents and go about my own way. Of course, the comment I would always hear was, "It's different when they're your own." I'd always scoffed at that, but I'll tell you what, truer words have never been spoken. My daughter is the light of my life and I can't imagine my world without her.
Which brings me to what crossed my mind tonight. As I said, Sophie (that's her name) and I were having an evening to ourselves. Much as I miss her mother, I relish the time I get to spend with Sophie. I find myself just staring at her a lot. I'm truly facinated and amazed by almost everything she does. Parents, you know what I'm talking about. And tonight it made me think about our relationship with God. I can't help but wonder a little if part of the reason God created the parent child dynamic was to help us better understand His relationship with us.
I look at Sophie and I think now more than ever I understand what it means to have child like faith. Sure, the concept is easy enough to grasp on the surface, but it's never been as concrete. I sit here watching her play and I realize she has no worries or concerns at all. She has no idea or concern for what is going on in the world around her. All she knows is that her parents will meet her needs. That we'll care for her when she's sick, feed her when she's hungry, clothe her when she's cold and protect her when she's in danger. It's an immense responsibility when I think about it but she takes it purely for granted and with rock solid faith. There's never a hint of doubt. And that's exactly how God wants us to be in our relationship with Him. In the book of Matthew, chapter 6, verses 25-34 God lets us know that He knows what our needs are and will be faithful to provide for them. That we should not worry or doubt that at all. Believe me, I realize in these economic times, with so many layoffs and plant closings and bank failures that it seems crazy to have that kind of confidence. That's why I'm so grateful for Sophie and that tangible example of the faith we are commanded to have.
On the flip side, I also have come to a greater understanding of the Father's love for us. To be honest, there are times that I really don't want Sophie to grow up. I want her to stay in that innocent state with that unconditional love for me and her mother. I know that as she grows up, she'll stumble. She'll make mistakes and she'll get hurt. To what degree, only God knows. But those things will likely happen, and it will break my heart when they do. But I look into those eyes, into that smiling angel face, and I know that I will always be there for her. And even if she were to hurt me or somehow disappoint me, I could never stop loving her or hesitate to take her back with open arms. I can't believe I have a God that loves me like that. It causes me to feel guilt for the way I've lived my life at times, but it also gives me great joy to know that He has always been there ready to take me back.
So, as I sit here and wait for my wife to get home I thank God once again. I thank Him for my daughter. I thank Him for that living example of the faith He requires of me and of the unconditional love He has for me. And I'll thank my wife for giving me this precious gift as well. Assuming, that is, that she wasn't trampled in a sea of teenage girls.
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